Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew

BY ELLEN NOTBOHM
1. I am first and foremost a child.  I have autism. I am not primarily "autistic."
2. My sensory perceptions are disordered.
3. Please remember to distinguis between won't (I choose not to) and can't (I am not able to).
4. I am a concrete thinker.  This means I interpret language very literally.
5. Please be patient with my limited vocabulary.
6. Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented.
7. Please focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can't do.
8. Help me with social interactions.
9. Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns.
10. If you are a family member, please love me unconditionally. 


Sometimes as parents and caregivers, we can get so hung up on labels that we forget that our children are who they were before they were labeled with this and that.  We forget that our children are children and there is always room for growth in all area's no matter where they are at on the spectrum.  
I am constantly reminded of how much of a concrete thinker my oldest son really is and he usually reminds me in such a silly way.  Here is one example....
Me- "Your driving me crazy." (he wasn't listening that day)
Him (with a serious yet confused look on his face) - "But I can't drive."


It's time like those that I understand how confusing the world must be for him, with all of the little puns and idioms that people use every day.  Like, "it's raining cats and dogs" or "don't get your undies in a bundle" or even something as simple as someone over exagerating a situation.  He is so literal and I am guessing that he actually pictures cats and dogs coming out of the sky. 


He is also very visual even though he is verbal.  He thrives off of visual cues, visual schedules, and people showing him how to do something versus someone telling him how to do it. 


Another thing that most people don't know, it autism is such a big spectrum.  There are kids like my two that are mild on the spectrum and then there are children who are severely affected.  I can honestly say that before my oldest was diagnosed, I knew next to nothing about autism and like most people I picture Rain Man when I thought of autism.